October 30, 2015 ~ Washington DC
In an exclusive interview with Minnesota Progressive Project (MNPP), GOP candidate for president Donald Trump today revealed how he plans to get Mexico to pay for a nearly 2,000 mile wall between the two nations.
“We put a 10-cent tax on every taco sold in the United States,” Trump said. “There’s something like 4.5 billion tacos sold in this country every year according to the National Taco Institute. People eat ’em four, five at a time. Big guys, you know. I don’t eat ’em myself, because I only eat American food. See, I’m patriotic that way.
“But look — it’s one measure of how much our culture has degenerated under this invasion of beaners into the country. Mexican restaurants in every town! Everywhere you look: Mexican restaurants! Billions and billions of tacos being sold every year! So we tax them. At 10 cents tax per taco, that’s $450 million in additional tax revenues a year. I would take that money and use it directly to build the wall.”
When MNPP pointed out that the Mexican government does not control or benefit from the sale of tacos in the United States, Trump retorted, “Of course they do. Don’t be absurd. It’s Mexican food, right? So it’s made and sold by Mexicans. That’s just common sense.”
“Given that only Congress has the power to levy taxes and appropriate funds,” MNPP asked, “how would you get 218 members to go along with your plan to tax tacos?”
“As President, I’ll be the boss. I’ll tell Congress they either go along with my plan, or they’ll all be fired. I’ll tell ’em: You’re all fired!”
“The President can’t fire members of Congress,” MNPP countered.
“Of course he can,” Trump said.
“No, he can’t.”
“Of course he can! The President can fire anybody he wants. Maybe Obama hasn’t fired any members of Congress, but that’s because he’s weak. He didn’t have a father, so he grew up weak. He likes to avoid confrontation. Syria is a good example of how he likes to avoid confrontation.”
MNPP: “The truth is that there is no Constitutional basis for the President to fire members of Congress. As President, if you tried to fire members of Congress you’d be assuming extra-Constitutional powers, which many would construe as commission of high crimes and misdemeanors. You’d be impeached.”
“I see you’ve crossed the line into liberal media bias,” Trump said, ending the interview. “Now you’re just making stuff up. Are you sure you’re not working for CNBC?”
Comments below fold.
From Cinda: This is satire, right? Please tell me it isn’t real.
From Dan Burns: It’s satire. Pretty good, if you ask me.