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Not enough money for textbooks, but have an automatic rifle

by The Big E on December 19, 2012 · 2 comments

As America may be starting to have a conversation about guns, as some Republicans come to their sense and agree that something has to be done about assault weapons, you can depend upon the Republicans on the far right to leave you gobsmacked.

Rep. Tony Cornish (R-Good Thunder) has an idea so stupid, so shockingly disconnected from reality, so dunder-headed that pretty much every Republican thinks it’s a good idea.

He wants to arm teachers.

Republicans hate teachers. In their warped minds, teachers are lazy moochers who cause massive state deficits. These lazy moochers also simultaneously indoctrinate our kids to become gay socialist/fascist tree-hugging drug addicts. Or something. The only good teachers are home-schooling parents or at religious schools (obviously, non-Muslim ones). Or something.

Republicans would like to eliminate public education. In the meantime, they slash funding to it year after year.

Apparently, the only way they’d like teachers is if they were armed and working for WalMart wages. Yep, that’s right. Disgruntled, underpaid, overworked and armed.

Thank God that elections have consequences and morans like Cornish are minority back-benchers instead of committee chairs.

Can you imagine the first day back from summer break in the Cornish gets his way?

Principal: Welcome back, teachers! I hope you had a great summer.

Teachers: grmbl …

Principal: First the bad news. Why sugar coat it, right? Because of the budget shortfalls, we have to cut costs yet again …

Teachers: grmbl …

Principal: Since we had to let many of our teachers with less seniority go and force some others into early retirement, you’ll all have larger classes. Your students are going to have to share textbooks. And finally, they’ll have to bring their own paper, pencils and all other supplies.

Teachers: [sigh]

Principal: But I do have some good news. Over to your left you’ll see the tables with automatic rifles, pistols and ammunition for both. After you pick up your class lists, please get your weapons. Please, please please don’t forget to pick up your gun lessons coupons, too. Remember, safety first!

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